When you try to stay away or hide from your own home, then it's not home at all. There are things you can't find where it should be so you end up looking for it somewhere else. I was struck with the realization that I can blame them all I want for not understanding, but in the end, I share the blame for not understanding them back. I blame myself for hating something I don't think I deserve. I blame myself for being so sick of it. I blame myself for making them think I'm haughty when all I want is to have my own way. I blame myself for deviating from the person they wish me to be. I blame myself for not understanding something I never want to live with. I blame myself for being misunderstood by the very people who brought me up to be like this. According to them, I am the one to blame. Thanks a lot for that cold biting reality. I now owe you an apology.
july 21, 2006
sam, im sitting here with you,you know i love you so much,and i couldnt be happier that you're in my life,javi, I LOVE YOU :Dmwaaah!!! Ü♥♥♥♥♥
insensitive.
I find the rest of the world already too defiled to ever care again what it thinks of me. If I have nothing to do with it, then I don't have to please it. But what hurts is that you never even had the courtesy to acknowledge what makes me happy. You... Of all people.
I don't blame you. Yet, the least you could have done was empathize. So much for that.
s-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-n
3 months...
12 weeks...
92 days...
2208 hours...
132480 minutes.
how do you measure a relationship?...
... LOVE.
3 months full of love.
:)
amused.
It's hard to find decent people nowadays.
You got friends. You think you know them. You think they know you. But it's a wretched fact that you would sometimes end up being wrong... oh well. So much for the past. There are things that aren't meant to stay the same.************************************You're undeniably hopeless. You're not gonna get any lower, being buried waaaaaay below the grounds of sanity. P30k?? That's hilarious b*llsh*t. bwahahaha. FREAK!
where is home?
It would be nice to move out of this chaotic setting I currently reside in.
(No, let me restate that understatement.)
I would love to abandon this hell of an abode I currently reside in.
or at least I'm finally entertaining that thought.
Aw. tsk. Don't call me a meanie. I simply desire a serene dwelling where I can peacefully go about the things I should be doing at home. Can I be blamed if I'm sick of waking up in the morning as if I'm always at the wrong side of the bed? I want a place where people would not piss us off just because they lack their sense of priority. I crave for a quiet place where I can think, study, read a book... you get what I'm saying. We would have gone to that place a long time ago if not for the thing called "obligation". hah. Does it mean that just because someone is obliged to do something or is expected to be someone, they would have to put their plans on hold? Guide, support, encourage, teach, are words I believe in. but spoil? pamper? indulge? when they are old enough to make their own living? *Wake up. You have kids to take care of now. You're not living for yourself anymore.* agh.
You probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
Literally, I meant to say I'm sick of all the chaos in my so-called "home". In a deeper sense, I'm sick of a lot of wretched and pointless things in life and I want nothing more than to leave it all behind. Some people's lives are such a waste.. exemplified by those desperately-trying-to-devastate-someone-but-it-won't-happen-because-they're-nothing-but-sh*tfaces people.
*Love, take me with you*
fragments of thought
some people are too fucked up to buy their own dogs.
utterly pathetic.
dragging an innocent pooch down the shitpit where they will forever be trapped in, desperately trying to prove their frivolous existence to the people too disgusted by the mere mention of their despicable names. the world hates them just as much as they hate it. they are not respected, used merely for someone's short-time pleasures. no one would bother killing them because they are too dead to ever live again. the only reason why they still breathe is that their souls have nowhere to go. Not even hell would take them.
boo.
HAH. what a week i had.
such a loser at chem lab. math test results are unacceptable. rain-shine-rain-shine, got frikkin sick. in agony of a series of bad headaches. wanna ride dad's bike again to school. can't finish Wicked. too much to read. no more moolah. signed-up for ALAC and Heights. learned new taekwondo moves. mcdo stall inside ateneo. ID-less people attract campus guards. literature becomes scary. wohwohwoah.
**a waste of time to read this junk of mine. ;D
ciao.
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